we have pet lesbian snakes
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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