does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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