Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
