hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
false alarm, still single
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
