yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
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I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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