we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
