we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
