"it" just moved
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
