very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
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