return my video game
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
