can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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