dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
