we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
