erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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