fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize