i just google imaged poop.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
