i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
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My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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