Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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