Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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