just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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