ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Did I show you my penis last night?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
