My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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