your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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