THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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