Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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