I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Will you blow on my dice?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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