I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize