you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
