just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
