You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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