You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
