the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the day after is always just damage control
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
In other news, I just burned my penis
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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