Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
