i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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