so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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