I wish I only lived at night.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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