I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
