I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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