I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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