lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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