Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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