What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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