can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize