What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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