oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
