he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
