Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
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