New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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