What a fucking waste of an outfit
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
