Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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