It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize