so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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