omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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