Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize