I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip