Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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