i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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