I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
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Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
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That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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