Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
