It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
