Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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