remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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